The Four Month Visit

I took Karis for her 4 month well-baby visit a week and a half ago. (We're a few weeks behind schedule.) Everything went very well. She weighs 13 pounds, 4 ounces and is 25 inches long. That's the 50th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for length. She is growing beautifully! Hooray!! She has the sweetest smile, too. I know, because her pediatrician said so! ;)

Much has happened since I posted 8 weeks ago. Back then, I was preparing to return to the workforce. I appreciate and needed those prayers! Two days before returning to work, my childcare plan for the school year fell apart. I was so distraught! I finally had to call my parents, who live 8 hours from here, and ask them to come watch the girls until we could come up with a new plan. They dropped everything and came to our rescue! I am so thankful for them! Well, I was able to line up a new sitter and transportation to and from preschool for Gracie. We started the day after Labor Day. Everything was going well, but I just did not feel at peace. I wasn't crying everyday or anything like that, but I just didn't feel comfortable. I described myself as being on "high alert". I don't know any other way to explain it.

I also was going through some major emotional battles. Again, not because I was working, but I just absolutely felt like I was drowning. When I was at work, I wanted to be home. When I was home, I wanted to be somewhere else. Everything was becoming mountainous in my mind...the laundry, lesson plans, potty training, meal preparation, bills...everything. The second Monday in September was the peak. I was a wet noodle in everyway. That night, my dear friends at Bible Study prayed over me. I sobbed and sobbed. I think I may have scared some of them, because I really let me guard down during prayer. My mom said that that's called soaking prayer. I don't know about that, but I do know that God ministered to me. I felt better afterward. Later that week, I was at a worship conference. One of the songs we sang had a line in it about feeling like you're drowning, but how God moves those mountainous situations in our lives. There's nothing more powerful than when God moves on complete strangers to present a song or a word that is exactly from Him to you!!! More crying, more healing.

A few weeks later, my world got rocked a bit. The person who transported Gracie from preschool to the sitter said that she couldn't continue doing that for me anymore. An hour later, my baby sitter asked me if we could pay her more money. After I cried, I opened my bible and read about God's grace and mercy. I felt peace and knew what needed to be done. The next day, I talked to my principal about taking a leave of absence from my job.

I can't explain how huge this is for us. It's what I've wanted to do for three years, but we just didn't see how we could swing it financially. I'm still not exactly sure how all the finances are going to work out, but I know that we both have peace about the decision we've made. I've had the sensation of stepping off the rooftop of a tall building, but instead of falling, these invisible steps are there just when I need them.

Sooooo....I have officially been a stay at home mommy for 1 week and 2 days. I feel such freedom and excitement about what the future holds. I am relishing the moments I'm having with my girls, too. Yesterday, I was nursing Karis with Gracie snuggled up next to me. It was 3 oclock in the afternoon. The house was quiet. The only sound we heard was the rain falling outside and some distant thunder. It was so precious!! Of course, a few minutes later, Gracie started kicking her legs wildly, practically socking me in the stomach, but for a sliver of time, we were having a "moment".