Wednesday, August 10, 2011

All is well

I took both of our girls to the dr. yesterday for their "Well Baby" visits. Gracie is doing great. She's 40 inches tall and just under 36 pounds. I got some helpful tips on finishing the potty training race. (My idea is to have nap time or nite-nite time continuously for the next few days. Everytime she hits the bed, she declares a need to "Go potty." And, she actually does!) Any other time of day, she's too busy playing to be bothered with anything as trivial as using the bathroom!

I'm thrilled to report that Karis Joy is growing beautifully. She's now moved into the 75th percentile for height and weight. 23 1/4 inches long, 11 pounds 3 ounces. I knew she was growing, but it did this nursing mother's heart good to see such healthy growth.

I would truly appreciate your prayers over the next several days. I am returning to work on Monday, August 15th. I'm not sure if I can describe how I feel about that. I'm sad, scared, numb, but also hopeful that God will strengthen and help me to be a working mommy. When I went back to work with Gracie, I was a basket case, and in total denial! I didn't even begin looking for a sitter until a week or so before going back. My mother in law stayed with Gracie for those first few weeks, which made the transition much easier, but it still broke my heart to leave her. I'll never forget my third day of work. I was attending convocation, which is a gathering of all the professional staff in our school division. Our superintendent was giving opening remarks and then an inspirational video was being shown. During those first few moments, I just cried my eyes out. I had arrived "just on time", and was too late to sit with my coworkers. No one was on either side of me, so I just bawled uncontrollably. A woman seated a few seats down reached for my hand and asked, "Are you alright?" To which I replied, " Sniff...I just...sniff, sniff... left my baby... sniff , home...sniff, sniff...." She patted my hand, the lights came back up, and I tried to regain my composure~although, I really didn't want to! During the break, this same lady (Who, btw, is a principal. One of my good friends works at her school. Whenever my friend mentions my name, the principal asks, "Is that the girl who cried?") gave me hug and asked about my little one. She said she had just had a baby too. As we compared notes, I discovered that she hadn't just had a baby...she had a baby on the same day and in the same hospital as me! In fact, because labor and delivery was so busy that day, I had to wait to be prepped for surgery in the family waiting room. I was there when her sister came in with pictures of this woman's baby.
It was incredible. Here I was, surrounded by over a thousand people. Out of all the places that I could have been seated, God orchestrated my path, so that I would sit next to someone who was in the same situation as me. This experience taught me once again that God in heaven is mindful of me... here on this earth. It was as if He was saying, "Krisa, I know what you are going through right now. I have not forgotten you. I will be there to support you through this journey. I know it's not the path you wanted to take, but it is a path that I will walk with you." It makes me cry, just thinking of how very often God poured out His grace into my life that first year. That very present grace gave me courage to work the second year, the third, and now the fourth. I am still praying that God will open a door so that I can stay home with my girls, but until then, I will endeavor to keep my heart fixed on trusting Him.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


For the first time in almost 10 weeks, I got 5 continuous hours of sleep! What a blessing!!!