Another long story...
July 2009- We made an appt. to go back to the NEDC for our trial transfer. My hubby had just gotten a new job after being unemployed for 6 months. It had been a year since my C-Section, so we were ready to get started with our next FET. (Frozen Embryo Transfer) Upon reflection, we decided to wait a few more months so that we could get 'back on track' financially before going to Knoxville. We rescheduled our appt. for September.
August 2009- I had an unexpected surgery! During my pregnancy, I had a nodule develop in my breast. It seemed benign, but at this August follow up visit, an ultrasound showed that the nodule had grown quite significantly over the past year. I told my dr. about our plans to do another FET. She told me that these type nodules can grow quite large with the hormonal changes that accompany pregnancy, and recommended removing it. By the end of the week, it was done.
September 2009- Gracie, my friend Mary, and I made a very quick trip to Knoxville for my first appointment. It was such a joy for me to introduce Gracie to Dr. Keenan and his staff. The last time they saw her, it was under the lens of a microscope! Physically, everything looked great for me to proceed. However, we were introduced to some obstacles. We wanted to do an Open Adoption again, just like we did for Gracie. (We did not have embryos remaining from Gracie's donor family.) Going that route meant there would be a new, additional fee from Bethany Christian Services that we were not expecting. In addition, Dr. Keenan informed us that they would be moving into their new building and probably wouldn't be able to put us on the calendar until February. Our weather in February is so very unpredictable that I figured we'd need to wait until Spring. Overall, it was a good trip, but I was kind of discouraged.....
November 2009- I had an experience at church that encouraged me to not give up on this next embryo adoption. I began praying more consistently for our next little one.
December 2009- I heard from the NEDC. They faxed a donor profile to us. (They were still planning on us coming in January or February.) After a couple of days, I called them and left a message saying that we were declining the profile. That was really hard for me to do. I felt so guilty, like I was banishing those 7 embryos to more time in the freezer! I also told them that it would have to be March before we could proceed. We still didn't have the money!!!
January 2010- I told Clydene at NEDC, that we weren't going to be able to make the March deadline and that we may not be able to do this at all...:(
My Grandma passed away. :(
I wrote the following in my journal- I am so burdened about our next embryo adoption. I feel powerless to do anything about it. I had a couple of tearful releases about it on the 22nd and 23rd. Like the experience before Gracie came though, I don't feel that I should let this go. This morning I felt prompted to do what needed to be done to complete our homestudy update. Please tie everything together Lord. I give it to you again!
On the 26th I read this from Exodus 3:7- The Lord said, "I have seen. I have heard. I am aware. I have come."
February 2010- On the 6th something incredible happened. (Besides 2 feet of snow falling on our community!) We were blessed with a monetary gift that would pay for all of our fees for our next embryo adoption! It came from a most unexpected and bizarre source! I couldn't stop crying! I was so absolutely blown away by God's faithfulness!!!
I called the NEDC again, and told them what had happened. Because I had missed so much work already, we made plans for a July transfer. I found out that they had never gotten my message about declining the donor family. We reviewed the profile again, and even though I had the same reservations as before, we accepted it. Now, we just needed to get the homestudy updated.
May 2010- Our Bethany Christian Services case worker meets with us, and gets the rest of the information that she needs to complete her paperwork.
June 2010- Our homestudy makes it to the NEDC. We 'meet' Deb Peters via the phone. She is the person who will write up our open agreement with our donor family.
I receive my medical protocol from the NEDC and begin taking Lupron shots. (I even gave them to myself!) I set up my monitoring appointments with Shadygrove Fertility Clinic.
On the 27th, Deb calls us with some news that causes us to prayerfully consider proceeding with our donor family. As I mentioned in my introductions, we decided to decline the donor family and to look for another. I can't even describe how difficult a decision this was for us. We were praying that God would take away all of the 'noise' that was swirling around us and help us to hear from Him. Because we were just weeks away from our transfer, we had to make a decision fast! The next morning when I thought about calling Clydene and telling her we needed a new donor- I felt peaceful. I didn't feel guilty, worried, anxious, none of that- just peace. When I thought of proceeding, I felt sick to my stomach, worried, and stressed. My hubby felt the same way. So we knew what to do. We'd be delayed again, we knew, but that was ok.