Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Twists and Turns

Last week, one of my new blogger friends asked me if I ever worried that our first FET would fail. My answer was, "No." I went on to talk about the things that did bring worry and fear. But as the days went by and I pondered that question, I realized that my real fear back then was that we'd never even get to the first FET! We had had so many roadblocks along the way, and our embryo adoption journey was no exception. I know that God has led us to this second EA, but I am definitely feeling the need to put on my armour once again as we continue to hit bumps in the road.

I wrote in an earlier post that I wasn't as comfortable with our back up donor, as I was with our number one choice. Well, on Friday, I got up the nerve to call the patient coordinator at the NEDC. I told her I was having second thoughts about our back up donor. On Monday, I spoke with the embryologist and felt somewhat better. Later that afternoon, I got a call from the NEDC. I was told that our back up donor had decided to decline us. I was so excited! Whew! God intervened!

On Tuesday morning, we received a new profile to review. We had some concerns.... Later that evening, we met (by phone) with our mediator from Bethany. As we were discussing the change in our donor status, it became clear that there was a misunderstanding. It wasn't our back up donor that declined us, it was our first choice! We were so shocked and disappointed. We don't know why they decided to change their minds, we didn't ask. I don't really want to know at this point. (My mother in law wisely pointed out that God surely has a purpose in this. She said, "You may never know what that purpose is on this side of heaven, and on the other side of heaven- it won't matter!") Once we were off the phone with the mediator, we prayed together and spent the rest of the evening enjoying our Gracie girl! We are so thankful to have her in our lives. She is worth every delay and frustration we ever faced!

I still believe that God has intervened. I sincerely believe that every detail of my life is washed in His grace. I would so appreciate your prayers as we proceed. Right now, my preference would be to start over- again. We need God's wisdom, and we need everything to go smoothly so that we have our open agreement completed within the time parameters that remain.
Thanks so much!!! Krisa

Update: I've been on the phone with NEDC throughout this morning. The patient coordinator has sent us a profile that looks like a great match for us. We've given her the 'thumbs up'. Now we have to wait and see if they accept us. Using this donor would mean that we no longer need our back up.

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6

Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26


  1. We just received our profiles today (we're having an anonymous adoption, though), so I know how stressful this process can be. Praying for God's grace and guidance as you make your decisions! :)

  2. Hey Krisa,
    so sorry to hear about the "hiccup". I know it is stressful trying to get a donor within the time limit of the September transfer. I will be praying that it all works out for you. Keep us posted!

  3. God's plan and timing are perfect! He is never surprised by our circumstances so it is best if we can relax and trust Him. Still, I know it is difficult when things don't go according to our "plan"! Praying for you!

  4. Hi Krisa,
    Came across your blog by way of the Bethany newsletter. Our husband and I are starting our 2nd adoption-not embryo. I have always had embryo adoption on the back on my mind so I am looking forward to reading as you journey thru this process. Stop by anytime for a visit.

  5. Thanks for stopping by our blog. I look forward to following your journey too!

  6. Read this today and thought of you:
    I thought of you and closed my eyes
    And prayed to God today.
    I asked what makes a Mother
    And I know I heard him say.
    A Mother has a baby
    This we know is true.
    But God can you be a Mother
    When your baby's not with you?
    Yes, you can He replied
    With confidence in His voice
    I give many women babies
    When they leave is not their choice.
    Some I send for a lifetime
    And others for a day.
    And some I send to feel your womb
    But there's no need to stay
    I just don't understand this, God
    I want my baby here
    He took a breath and cleared His throat
    And then I saw a tear.
    I wish I could show you
    What your child is doing today.
    If you could see your child smile
    With other children and say
    "We go to earth to learn our lessons
    Of love and life and fear.
    My Mommy loved me oh so much
    I got to come straight here.
    I feel so lucky to have a Mom
    Who had so much love for me
    I learned my lesson very quickly
    My mommy set me free.
    I miss my Mommy oh so much
    But I visit her each day.
    When she goes to sleep
    On her pillow's where I lay.
    I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
    And whisper in her ear.
    Mommy don't be sad today
    I'm your baby and I'm here."
    So you see my dear sweet one
    Your children are ok
    Your babies are here in My home
    And this is where they'll stay.
    They'll wait for you with Me
    Until your lesson is through.
    And on the day that you come home
    They'll be at the gates for you.
    So now you see what makes a Mother
    It's the feeling in your heart.
    It's the love you had so much of
    Right from the very start.
    Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
    Until their time is done.
    They'll be up here with Me one day
    And you know you're the best one!
    -Jennifer Wasik