Last week, one of my new blogger friends asked me if I ever worried that our first FET would fail. My answer was, "No." I went on to talk about the things that did bring worry and fear. But as the days went by and I pondered that question, I realized that my real fear back then was that we'd never even get to the first FET! We had had so many roadblocks along the way, and our embryo adoption journey was no exception. I know that God has led us to this second EA, but I am definitely feeling the need to put on my armour once again as we continue to hit bumps in the road.
I wrote in an earlier post that I wasn't as comfortable with our back up donor, as I was with our number one choice. Well, on Friday, I got up the nerve to call the patient coordinator at the NEDC. I told her I was having second thoughts about our back up donor. On Monday, I spoke with the embryologist and felt somewhat better. Later that afternoon, I got a call from the NEDC. I was told that our back up donor had decided to decline us. I was so excited! Whew! God intervened!
On Tuesday morning, we received a new profile to review. We had some concerns.... Later that evening, we met (by phone) with our mediator from Bethany. As we were discussing the change in our donor status, it became clear that there was a misunderstanding. It wasn't our back up donor that declined us, it was our first choice! We were so shocked and disappointed. We don't know why they decided to change their minds, we didn't ask. I don't really want to know at this point. (My mother in law wisely pointed out that God surely has a purpose in this. She said, "You may never know what that purpose is on this side of heaven, and on the other side of heaven- it won't matter!") Once we were off the phone with the mediator, we prayed together and spent the rest of the evening enjoying our Gracie girl! We are so thankful to have her in our lives. She is worth every delay and frustration we ever faced!
I still believe that God has intervened. I sincerely believe that every detail of my life is washed in His grace. I would so appreciate your prayers as we proceed. Right now, my preference would be to start over- again. We need God's wisdom, and we need everything to go smoothly so that we have our open agreement completed within the time parameters that remain.
Thanks so much!!! Krisa
Update: I've been on the phone with NEDC throughout this morning. The patient coordinator has sent us a profile that looks like a great match for us. We've given her the 'thumbs up'. Now we have to wait and see if they accept us. Using this donor would mean that we no longer need our back up.
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. Philippians 4:6
Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:26
Showing posts with label Bethany Christian Services. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bethany Christian Services. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Accepted
Here's the latest....yesterday, I received an email from Clydene at the NEDC. Both of our donor families have agreed for us to be recepients of their embryos. She is faxing all the information to Bethany headquarters in Michigan. Soon, we'll be hearing from them and will begin to work out our Open Agreement! Hopefully, this will go quite smoothly, since we just went through the process three weeks ago.
If you read my story about the past 12 months, you will know that Bethany's new fee for providing mediation through the open agreement, and for one year after birth really discouraged us. It's $3,000.00, on top of the fees you pay for the homestudy. But, I'm really glad they are doing it the way they are now.
We had a mediator 3 years ago. She was wonderful, and we instantly adored her! We even arranged to meet her when we travelled to Knoxville for our first FET. But, the 'working out' of our Open Agreement, was very general and layed back. She would ask how we wanted to handle a certain situation, like communication, for instance, and we'd say, "We really don't know. How have other people done it?" She would tell us what others had done, and we'd say, "OK, that sounds fine." This time around, we had at least 3, hour long phone meetings- answering questions, being given scenarios to think about, and finding out more details about our donor family. If we hadn't had those meetings, we wouldn't have discovered what we did about our original family. So....I'm gladly paying the fee, and thankful for the experience that Bethany and the NEDC have gleaned over the past few years.
If you read my story about the past 12 months, you will know that Bethany's new fee for providing mediation through the open agreement, and for one year after birth really discouraged us. It's $3,000.00, on top of the fees you pay for the homestudy. But, I'm really glad they are doing it the way they are now.
We had a mediator 3 years ago. She was wonderful, and we instantly adored her! We even arranged to meet her when we travelled to Knoxville for our first FET. But, the 'working out' of our Open Agreement, was very general and layed back. She would ask how we wanted to handle a certain situation, like communication, for instance, and we'd say, "We really don't know. How have other people done it?" She would tell us what others had done, and we'd say, "OK, that sounds fine." This time around, we had at least 3, hour long phone meetings- answering questions, being given scenarios to think about, and finding out more details about our donor family. If we hadn't had those meetings, we wouldn't have discovered what we did about our original family. So....I'm gladly paying the fee, and thankful for the experience that Bethany and the NEDC have gleaned over the past few years.
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