Life is precious and fragile. I've always known this. Sometimes, when I get close enough to Gracie to hear her heartbeat, I'm reminded of that very first time I heard it when she was a tiny 6 week old embryo. It thrills me. I think, life is flowing through her. God is sustaining her. This is a miracle!
Last week, these thoughts came to me again because I lost a friend to cancer. On Monday, we were praying for her to recover from what doctors thought was a bad sinus infection. She was feeling really poorly, and couldn't make it to our Bible Study. On Wednesday she was hospitalized because her husband found her unresponsive when he came home. On Thursday morning she was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. At 6:30 that night, she crossed over to eternity. All of us who had to joy of knowing her, have been heartbroken at the suddenness of her passing. But, we know she is basking in God's presence and is gloriously healed.
Today....
I am more grateful for each new day.
I am more prone to hug my little girl and husband a little longer than I would have a week ago.
I am more appreciative for the times God has spared my life and the lives of those I love.
I am more thankful that God's presence sustains me even when I walk through the valley of the shadow of death. I will fear no evil~for Thou art with me. Psalm 23
Monday, February 14, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Goings On....
Be prepared for 'bunny trails'.
I just want to post something- anything. I have a lot on my mind right now. First, even though this pregnancy has been a bit more physically demanding, I have really enjoyed not battling fear this time around. When I was pregnant with Gracie, I felt that I was always bracing for something horrible to happen. I was afraid to let my guard down, because I knew that there were no guarantees that everything was going to be alright. We rented a fetal heart monitor and used it quite frequently. I remember God really helping through all of that though. He revealed to me that I could be gripped in fear at every stage and age of my child's life. He asked me, "Is that how you want to live?" Of course it was not. At some point around that same time, I had a very distinct dream. I dreamed of holding my baby against my chest. Her head was resting on my left shoulder. The dream was so real that I could literally feel that sensation when I woke up the next day. It was like a reassurance that everything was going to be alright, and I would hold my little one someday- and of course I did. ANYWAY- I just haven't dealt with fear during this pregnancy and it has been a blessing. Maybe it's because this is my second pregnancy...maybe it's purely God's grace.
Which leads me to the second thing I wanted to talk about. Our chosen name for our littlest lovee girl. Of course, it could be modified once we meet her, but for now we have decided on Karis Joy. Charis is the greek word for grace. It means: that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, favor and merciful kindness. So, we'll have two girls of Grace in the house! We've modified the spelling, which is kind of neat, because Karis has all of the letters of my name- Krisa. My mother in law has always wanted us to name any girls born to us- Krisa. I have flatly refused that idea, but this accommodates that request a little. Sometimes when Byron is talking to or about the baby and refers to her as 'Karis', Gracie says, "No daddy. It's Karis Jo-oy" (Joy has two syllables. We are raising a southerner here in northern VA.)
We've had some sickness in our house this past month. Gracie and Byron both had terrible cases of a yucky stomach virus. Thankfully, I only had a touch of the stuff. And, when I say thankfully, I really mean it. That virus has been nasty. Gracie had a horrible cold last week, and was running a fever for 36 hours this week. I don't like it when my family is sick.
Speaking of sick...I haven't been for some time now. Thank you Lord!!!! I think this weekend will mark the fourth week of being queasy free! I love that! Along those same lines, I had my first, full-fledged craving ever last Saturday night/Sunday morning. I woke up around 2:00 and just had to have grape juice. The desire was so strong, it was almost painful. The problem was that we had no grape juice. Even though I know my husband would have gone out and bought some for me, I didn't want to wake him because he was preaching at our church the next morning which was actually just a few hours away. So, I did the next best thing. I drank a little berry fruit punch, then chased it down with orange juice. I was able to go back to sleep. The next day, we had two gallons of grape juice in our kitchen. :)
Is anyone else tired? I am so beat at the end of the day. I can't even believe I'm still awake at 10:00 pm tonight! I got a call from my OB/GYN three weeks ago, directing me to start taking an iron supplement twice a day b/c my bloodwork showed I was slightly anemic. Maybe that's playing into the weariness. I don't know, but I sometimes feel discouraged by it. I'd appreciate your prayers for strength.
My friend that I told you about in my previous post has now been on bedrest for at least a month. Things had stabilized for her, but she went in for a visit yesterday and discovered that she is dialiated 1 cm and her cervix is shortening again. That's not great news, so please continue to lift her and her twin babies up to the Lord. She is 28 weeks this week. It meant so much to her to read your comments and to know that you were standing with her. So, thank you for continuing to do so!
This week has been kind of emotional for me. On Monday, I found out 25 minutes before I needed to report to work that I didn't have a babysitter for the day. (I have resolved to check text messages a lot sooner than 8:15, from now on.) I can't tell you how panicked I became. The good news is that because of some awesome friends- everything was worked out within minutes! I was so thankful, but whereas I was about to cry earlier because I was so upset, 15 minutes later, I was crying because I felt so blessed and undeserving. I was a bit of a mess for the remainder of the day. I won't even describe the total melt down I had before retiring that night. Let's just say that my husband was trying desperately to calm me down so that I wouldn't wake up our sleeping child. Three hours later was when Gracie started running a fever. The next morning though, she seemed fine, and since my sitter's kids were still running fevers and b/c we were on a 2 hour delay that day- I decided to go to work and take Gracie to the babysitter. I felt guilty all day. At 4, I got a text that her fever had returned...103.4- More guilt. I immediately decided that I would not go to work the next day. You guessed it- she was perfectly fine all day long. Not a 'smidgen of temperature', not a sniffle or cough. I enjoyed being home with my girl, but I hardly have any leave left, so again I felt stressed. Other things happened on Thursday- I won't go into that- but I've just been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I'm ready to settle down- spend some time with Jesus, and get perspective again. To quote an old song of the church....
Only Jesus can satisfy your soul...
Only He can change your heart and make it whole.
He'll give you peace you never knew.
Sweet love and joy and heaven too.
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
I just want to post something- anything. I have a lot on my mind right now. First, even though this pregnancy has been a bit more physically demanding, I have really enjoyed not battling fear this time around. When I was pregnant with Gracie, I felt that I was always bracing for something horrible to happen. I was afraid to let my guard down, because I knew that there were no guarantees that everything was going to be alright. We rented a fetal heart monitor and used it quite frequently. I remember God really helping through all of that though. He revealed to me that I could be gripped in fear at every stage and age of my child's life. He asked me, "Is that how you want to live?" Of course it was not. At some point around that same time, I had a very distinct dream. I dreamed of holding my baby against my chest. Her head was resting on my left shoulder. The dream was so real that I could literally feel that sensation when I woke up the next day. It was like a reassurance that everything was going to be alright, and I would hold my little one someday- and of course I did. ANYWAY- I just haven't dealt with fear during this pregnancy and it has been a blessing. Maybe it's because this is my second pregnancy...maybe it's purely God's grace.
Which leads me to the second thing I wanted to talk about. Our chosen name for our littlest lovee girl. Of course, it could be modified once we meet her, but for now we have decided on Karis Joy. Charis is the greek word for grace. It means: that which affords joy, pleasure, delight, favor and merciful kindness. So, we'll have two girls of Grace in the house! We've modified the spelling, which is kind of neat, because Karis has all of the letters of my name- Krisa. My mother in law has always wanted us to name any girls born to us- Krisa. I have flatly refused that idea, but this accommodates that request a little. Sometimes when Byron is talking to or about the baby and refers to her as 'Karis', Gracie says, "No daddy. It's Karis Jo-oy" (Joy has two syllables. We are raising a southerner here in northern VA.)
We've had some sickness in our house this past month. Gracie and Byron both had terrible cases of a yucky stomach virus. Thankfully, I only had a touch of the stuff. And, when I say thankfully, I really mean it. That virus has been nasty. Gracie had a horrible cold last week, and was running a fever for 36 hours this week. I don't like it when my family is sick.
Speaking of sick...I haven't been for some time now. Thank you Lord!!!! I think this weekend will mark the fourth week of being queasy free! I love that! Along those same lines, I had my first, full-fledged craving ever last Saturday night/Sunday morning. I woke up around 2:00 and just had to have grape juice. The desire was so strong, it was almost painful. The problem was that we had no grape juice. Even though I know my husband would have gone out and bought some for me, I didn't want to wake him because he was preaching at our church the next morning which was actually just a few hours away. So, I did the next best thing. I drank a little berry fruit punch, then chased it down with orange juice. I was able to go back to sleep. The next day, we had two gallons of grape juice in our kitchen. :)
Is anyone else tired? I am so beat at the end of the day. I can't even believe I'm still awake at 10:00 pm tonight! I got a call from my OB/GYN three weeks ago, directing me to start taking an iron supplement twice a day b/c my bloodwork showed I was slightly anemic. Maybe that's playing into the weariness. I don't know, but I sometimes feel discouraged by it. I'd appreciate your prayers for strength.
My friend that I told you about in my previous post has now been on bedrest for at least a month. Things had stabilized for her, but she went in for a visit yesterday and discovered that she is dialiated 1 cm and her cervix is shortening again. That's not great news, so please continue to lift her and her twin babies up to the Lord. She is 28 weeks this week. It meant so much to her to read your comments and to know that you were standing with her. So, thank you for continuing to do so!
This week has been kind of emotional for me. On Monday, I found out 25 minutes before I needed to report to work that I didn't have a babysitter for the day. (I have resolved to check text messages a lot sooner than 8:15, from now on.) I can't tell you how panicked I became. The good news is that because of some awesome friends- everything was worked out within minutes! I was so thankful, but whereas I was about to cry earlier because I was so upset, 15 minutes later, I was crying because I felt so blessed and undeserving. I was a bit of a mess for the remainder of the day. I won't even describe the total melt down I had before retiring that night. Let's just say that my husband was trying desperately to calm me down so that I wouldn't wake up our sleeping child. Three hours later was when Gracie started running a fever. The next morning though, she seemed fine, and since my sitter's kids were still running fevers and b/c we were on a 2 hour delay that day- I decided to go to work and take Gracie to the babysitter. I felt guilty all day. At 4, I got a text that her fever had returned...103.4- More guilt. I immediately decided that I would not go to work the next day. You guessed it- she was perfectly fine all day long. Not a 'smidgen of temperature', not a sniffle or cough. I enjoyed being home with my girl, but I hardly have any leave left, so again I felt stressed. Other things happened on Thursday- I won't go into that- but I've just been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I'm ready to settle down- spend some time with Jesus, and get perspective again. To quote an old song of the church....
Only Jesus can satisfy your soul...
Only He can change your heart and make it whole.
He'll give you peace you never knew.
Sweet love and joy and heaven too.
For only Jesus can satisfy your soul.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Prayer Please
Please pray for my friend Kelly. She and her husband have been TTC for several years. They have done IVF multiple times. This past August- it worked! She is pregnant with twins, and they're due at the end of April. However, she's in pre-labor. She home on bedrest, but after a week and a half, she's still having contractions. Please pray for these little ones to hold on for as long as possible. Thanks friends!!!
Monday, January 10, 2011
We're having.....
A GIRL! We are very happy and excited! Of course, we would have been happy and excited if we were having a boy, too. But, I've had a girl and sort of know how to "do" girl. Plus- our girls will be exactly three years apart. So- I have girl clothes, toys, and decor galore! The only thing we'll need for this little one is diapers and wipes. We haven't completely settled on a name yet, so I'll hold off on that for now.
We got several pictures, but this one is our favorite.
Look carefully and you'll see her tiny fingers on her forehead! :)Our doctor was very pleased with the baby's development. She said that everything looked beautiful. She's also happy with my weight gain this time around. It's less than where I was with Gracie at this time in the pregnancy. I'm not sure how that's possible given all of the fudge I've consumed since Christmas!!! But- we won't talk about that!!!
I was so looking forward to telling Gracie that she's having a baby sister. This is pretty much how the conversation went, however.
Me: Gracie, are you excited? Our baby is a little girl. You're going to have baby sister.
Gracie: No, our baby is a boy baby.
Me: No, she's a girl. You are going to have a sister.
Gracie: Maybe we could get a cat.
Oh My!!!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Flutter, flutter
Well, my suspicions were correct the other day. I definitely am feeling this baby move. I love it! It feels like a little fluttering feeling in my tummy. It's nice to just be sitting quietly at the end of the day and feel this little life moving around. So sweet!
One of my pregnancy books says that 'generally, the baby will be born about 147 days-plus or minus 15 days- from the time the mother first feels the baby move.' (I love how they couched that time frame with two weeks before or after!) Nonetheless, for Gracie it was spot on. She was born 146 days after I first felt her flutter. If my calculations are correct, that would put us at May 28th for this baby. Pretty close to the actual June 4th due date, anyway, but interesting to think about!
We go for our BIG ultrasound one week from today. I'm hoping that the baby cooperates so that we can find out the sex. For the past several days, Gracie has predicted a boy. But, before that, she has always said "girl". So, she really isn't helping us figure out what we're having at all!
I've included a 'lovely' belly picture. I've been horrible this time around and haven't ta
ken any pictures up until this past weekend when I hit the 18 week mark. When I'm pregnant, I sort of just get big all over. I don't really have that cute little bump. But, I love how my body is changing. It's very exciting and amazing to be able to experience pregnancy, ONCE MORE. I may have said this before, but when I was pregnant the first time, I was just as amazed with how God created my body, as I was with the new life that was being weaved inside of me. I was 41, had never been pregnant, and yet my body did exactly what it was designed to do to carry a baby. It was incredible to me. ---You are fearfully and wonderfully made---- had whole new meaning.
ken any pictures up until this past weekend when I hit the 18 week mark. When I'm pregnant, I sort of just get big all over. I don't really have that cute little bump. But, I love how my body is changing. It's very exciting and amazing to be able to experience pregnancy, ONCE MORE. I may have said this before, but when I was pregnant the first time, I was just as amazed with how God created my body, as I was with the new life that was being weaved inside of me. I was 41, had never been pregnant, and yet my body did exactly what it was designed to do to carry a baby. It was incredible to me. ---You are fearfully and wonderfully made---- had whole new meaning.Tuesday, December 28, 2010
The life and times of Gracie and Me....
Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. I've been a bit overwhelmed lately. All is well with our littlest lovee. In fact, each time I've been to the doctor recently, both physicians have commented that "that's one happy camper" in there. Speaking of appointments, I have to tell you this story. Gracie went with me to my appointment this past Tuesday. As I was about to step onto the scale (she's not too keen on getting weighed at the dr's office), she patted me on the back and said, "It'll be alright, Mama." Then, after the nurse had finished taking my blood pressure, and we were waiting for the doctor to arrive, Gracie looked up at me and said, "Mommy, you're a brave girl!" Well, I may be brave, but I'm also worn out after working all day. Perhaps that would explain why we still had pumpkins on our stoop and a fall wreath on our front door, at noon on Christmas Eve!
As most of you know, I'm a kindergarten teacher. Which means, I'm on Christmas Break this week! So far, I can't figure out how I ever get out the door by 8 AM each day, as Gracie and I have both been in our pj's until at least 11:00 each day! I really didn't feel well yesterday morning. So, by the time I was ready to run errands at the bright and early hour of 3:45 in the afternoon, my girl was needing some Monday afternoon loving. We tickled and kissed each other over and over again for about 45 minutes. It was a tremendous treat that neither of us get at that hour on a weekday.
I love being mommy to this vivacious two year old! I can't wait to see what God has in store for us with this next little embie baby! BTW, I think I felt the baby move last night. Hmmmm....more on that later! Happy New Year everyone!
I hope all of you had a fabulous Christmas celebration. We went to our former church for their Christmas Eve service. God's presence and love was definitely experienced. Plus, it was wonderful to hug the necks of old friends. Gracie tried her best to sing 'Joy to the World' and all the other songs sung that night. We loved seeing her 'enter in' to the service. They ended with a 5 year old, little boy singing, 'Happy Birthday Jesus.' It was absolutely precious!
Christmas morning was so much fun. Gracie is old enough now to open her own gifts. She was a little worried when she tore into the first package. She thought she had 'broken' the wrapping paper. She took more than an hour to open her gifts because she stopped to play after she opened each one. Overall, we think her favorite gift was a fake, plastic slinky. :) It doesn't take much to please our girl!
As most of you know, I'm a kindergarten teacher. Which means, I'm on Christmas Break this week! So far, I can't figure out how I ever get out the door by 8 AM each day, as Gracie and I have both been in our pj's until at least 11:00 each day! I really didn't feel well yesterday morning. So, by the time I was ready to run errands at the bright and early hour of 3:45 in the afternoon, my girl was needing some Monday afternoon loving. We tickled and kissed each other over and over again for about 45 minutes. It was a tremendous treat that neither of us get at that hour on a weekday.
Today, has been quite nice. I'm conquering loads of laundry and taking lots of kiss/hug breaks throughout the day. I put Gracie down for a nap around 1:00. I kept hearing her talking and singing, but then she got kind of quiet. I crept upstairs to prepare a bubble bath for myself. (I love bubble baths!) Just then, she started jumping up and down in her crib and broke into a rousing chorus of "Shoo Fly don't Bother Me!" I started to laugh! She remained in her room for the duration of her nap time, although she never napped. When I felt she had 'rested' long enough, I went into her room and found a funny sight. She had leaned outside of her crib, grabbed several stuffed animals out of a basket and wiggled them between the slats of her crib. She had also grabbed a little puppy dog backpack, somehow put it on her back the correct way, and buckled the thing. Wide-eyed, hair going everywhere, she was a sight to behold. I had to take a picture. The child cracks me up sometimes!
I love being mommy to this vivacious two year old! I can't wait to see what God has in store for us with this next little embie baby! BTW, I think I felt the baby move last night. Hmmmm....more on that later! Happy New Year everyone!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Latest
On Monday, I had my 12 week ultrasound (even though I was actually 13 weeks this past Saturday). Once again, everything looked great! Our littlest lovie is measuring a few days ahead of schedule this time and had a strong, healthy heartrate. Apparently, the baby's spleen and bladder looked good too. My dr. did an additional, "freebie" peek and was describing these beautiful organs to me. I honestly had no idea what I was looking at! Our Creator is so amazing!!! We are fearfully and wonderfully made.... Ps. 139.
We showed Gracie the picture of the baby, Monday afternoon. She was so funny. She said, "I have a baby in my tummy too." We tried to correct that misconception, but she hung fast to it. She also grabbed the neck of my sweater, poked her head in my shirt because she wanted to see the baby! She's my silly girl. :)
As of yesterday, I have been shot free for two weeks. Awwww! Such a blessing! But I wasn't assured that I could stay off my medications until Monday. That was the 'cherry on top' of my good news day. Why did it take two weeks to make this determination? Let me just say, "Oh the drama of bloodwork being delivered STAT." Apparently, my results have a tendency to get lost in cyberspace!
I felt pretty good yesterday. I actually ate Italian food last night, with little consequence. The very thought of garlic has made me want to pass out for the past several weeks, and I love garlic! So- I'm hoping that I have turned a corner as I enter the 2nd Trimester!
We showed Gracie the picture of the baby, Monday afternoon. She was so funny. She said, "I have a baby in my tummy too." We tried to correct that misconception, but she hung fast to it. She also grabbed the neck of my sweater, poked her head in my shirt because she wanted to see the baby! She's my silly girl. :)
As of yesterday, I have been shot free for two weeks. Awwww! Such a blessing! But I wasn't assured that I could stay off my medications until Monday. That was the 'cherry on top' of my good news day. Why did it take two weeks to make this determination? Let me just say, "Oh the drama of bloodwork being delivered STAT." Apparently, my results have a tendency to get lost in cyberspace!
I felt pretty good yesterday. I actually ate Italian food last night, with little consequence. The very thought of garlic has made me want to pass out for the past several weeks, and I love garlic! So- I'm hoping that I have turned a corner as I enter the 2nd Trimester!
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